Notes From A Lover To Another

Written and edited by two commitment phobes who feel deeply often, so deeply that it can become all encompassing and too much very early on. Have you ever heard of that phenomenon? Loving TOO much, so much you have to dart off, remain independent, safe and secure in your own presence. I hear of cheap love, real love, but rarely this kind.

It’s real.

Let’s explore special moments. Those moments in time you feel with your entire core, those that shake you and when you recollect them, even years later, make the hairs on your arm stand up and your neck stand tall.

Whether you are aware of how special they are at the time, moments make life. Entire era’s are created out of a series of moments. The moment you stop allowing a moment to be, you lose out. I lost an important moment in time with someone I loved. I will never get that moment back.

Special moments are often only noticed in retrospect, only after they occur. I did not allow that moment to impact my life,  I ran from it. I was only thinking about what I had to say, rather than how it made them feel. I wasn’t ready. I went outside to think about the moment just lost and came back feeling confused. Sure it was a surprise, but what are they?

Unbelievable moments.

I feel sorry for doing so. I feel I owe them something I can never repay.  They say they will never forget it and that means it was something they felt, deeply, within their core. We only truly remember the things people make us feel, not what they say. The moment had potential and I took it away, closed them off, shut them out. I took it and didn’t do anything with it. I don’t know why. I hope that never happens again. I hope they understand that I did what I did because I was afraid of being in that moment. Even though I know love is a gift, I didn’t think I could face that moment of unconscious energy.

I wasn’t thinking of themI was thinking about how I’d always dreamed of finding someone just like them.

By Gillead Miziray, Edited by Hollie Bhol

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